Fifty Percent

half way through.

five months in Spain. five to go.

While the first five have been full of everything new and exciting, learning the language, understanding the culture, the next five will be all about embracing it. Embracing it all as if it were mine. Because it has become mine.

I have realized that a lot of times when I am speaking, I talk with questions. "I had a great day?". "I brought you candy from the kiosk?". "Around four, I am going to the gym?". The real reason I speak with questions, is because I'm not sure. I am still embarrassed to speak, even if most of the time what I am saying is correct. 

And culturally, it was hard in the beginning. Because not only am I learning a new culture, but a new lifestyle. A new way of doing everything, and most of the time i even screw up the things I know how to do really well. My first five months here have been all about learning. 

My last five months here will be all about living, about experiencing, about really becoming me. I found that without fluency in a language it is extremely hard to be the person you are, or even trying to be. Sometimes you can't even explain where you are, or ask where the flour is at the grocery store. Imagine trying to have a heart to heart with someone, or imagine trying to tell a joke to your friends at school. It's hard to connect with people, hard to get further than the "hey, what's up" conversation with a lot of people.

But when the language comes, and the culture sinks in, it gets so much easier. You start to understand why people do this, why they say that, and most of all you start to follow along. 

At the start of February, I finally got around to joining a gym. It doesn't seem like a big step, but it took me about three months to "get around to it". I might need to mention the fact that it is literally right across the street from my house. I started last Tuesday, and I have gone almost everyday since. First of all, to work off all of the food I ate over Christmas break, and secondly because I just needed something to do. I've found that after a long day, it is also a great stress reliever. And to top it all off, it makes me feel a lot better about leaving my sports behind in the US.  

AFS Castilla y Leon Chapter in Valladolid (La Plaza Zorilla)

And a few weekends ago we had our mid-stay AFS orientation. It is ridiculous how the time has flown, and I'm positive July 1st will come in no time. Meaning, I only have a little bit left, so the objective is to make the most of it all while I still can. 

So as I begin the second half of my exchange, I keep in mind how much has changed, how much has progressed, and I realize how much more I have to change, and how much more progress there is to be made. I may be efficient in the Spanish language, and I may be understanding the culture a lot more, but there is and will always be more for me to learn. 

I take into account all of the good and bad moments, everything that has gotten me to the half way mark, and I put it all behind me. It will all take part in the person I am becoming, but to dwell on the past, is to not be living in the present, therefore I am ready to live all of the good and bad that awaits. 

fifty percent, half way there.